When you genuinely feel comfortable in your own skin, you tend to look better as well.
It shows through your actions and self esteem, and lays the foundation to which others will treat you.
However, the sad reality is that a lot of us have a tendency to think thoughts like:
“If only I were skinnier…”
or “If I was smaller I would wear that…”
or “I’m too small, I have no curves”
or “If I was more confident I would ____”
and the list goes on..
THINKING THIS WAY IS SO BAD FOR YOU. STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT!
Ok, I’m sorry for yelling because I, too, understand the struggles of not feeling good in your own skin.
It can hold you back from so many opportunities and good adventures and memories in life.
It can be especially hard in this generation of Social Media, where we are constantly seeing people’s highlight reels and subconsciously comparing that to ourselves.
And we don’t just evaluate ourselves on our appearance — we also evaluate ourselves on how we’re doing in life, in comparison to others.
Taking control of these intrusive thoughts can be one of the hardest things to do, especially when you don’t feel confident about yourself.
But, even though it may be hard, it is still possible for you to feel beautiful in the skin you’re in. Because you ARE beautiful and it’s time you realize it and embrace it. Because the only opinion of yourself that truly matters, is yours.
By following these 8 steps, you will start to boost that self esteem and feel comfortable in your own skin in no time.
- Stop Caring What Other People Think of You
Or what you think they are thinking of you. Chances are, they aren’t thinking of you at all. And as the old saying goes, “what is that person doing for me?” – most of the time it is absolutely nothing. Therefore, there is no valid reason why their opinion of you matters. If you find someone is saying something negative about you, chances are it is a reflection of themselves and how they are feeling. So brush it off and turn that other cheek. On the opposite hand, if someone compliments you, that’s GREAT. Say thank you and move on. If you allow yourself to thrive off of other people’s compliments, or suffer from the lack of, then you are allowing yourself to be mentally constrained by this and will forever be a prisoner to them, finding yourself doing things for their approval.
2. Fake It ‘Til You Make It
Ah, the good ole’ fake it ’til you make it method. This is essentially combining affirmations with actions. By telling yourself you are confident and you are beautiful, and acting as if you believe it, you will start to actually believe it. So, hold your head high, wear that nice shirt that you’ve wanted to wear and don’t let anything hold you back. Keep doing this and anytime a negative thought tries to sneak it, kick it out with a positive one about how you’re killin’ it today, and how you’re turning heads. After a while, you will begin to believe it for yourself.
3. Build Your Self Worth
The main reason you may not feel comfortable in your own skin is because you don’t really know yourself, or who you want to be. I know, that can be scary, but it can also be exciting. You have the whole world to discover. There are so many things to try like activities, foods, movies & shows, discovering new hobbies, music genres, and the list goes on. As you experience new things, you get to determine if you like them or don’t like them. This will establish your identity. Also, your character and the way you treat people comes largely into play when discovering yourself. Do you want to be someone who is kind-hearted and always giving to others? Do you want to be the loud crazy one who is the life of the party? Do you prefer to keep a small tight circle of close friends? If you find yourself in this category of uncertainty, get out there and LIVE! Chase your dreams. Become the person you want to be and will be proud of being. That will build your self worth immensely and help you feel comfortable in your own skin.
4. View Your Thoughts As If You Are Talking To A Friend
You know those mean things you mentally say to yourself? The ones about not looking good, or being ugly, or too shy, or scolding yourself for doing something embarrassing? Would you say them to your best friend? Heck no you wouldn’t (I would hope not anyway lol.) So why would you say them to yourself? You deserve kindness and the kindness you give to yourself is the one that matters the most. Instead of boiling in embarrassment, laugh at yourself when you trip or say something silly in front of a crush or spill your drink. Speak positively to yourself and with love and you will begin to see a change unfolding with everything around you.
5. Become Mindful
Another major reason we don’t feel comfortable in our own skin is because we are lost in our own heads and over analyzing things. When you practice mindfulness, you become aware of your surroundings and everything going on around you. Those thoughts will then quiet the ones that are going “This dress doesn’t look good on me” “They’re looking at my tummy” “If I was more confident I would be blah blah blah”. Have you ever been so lost in something, nothing else matters? Whether it is painting or drawing or making music? This is similar, only you will be so engaged in the world around you that your appearance doesn’t matter. (Now I’m not saying to stop showering and having a good personal hygiene regimen) But you will realize that you can enjoy this life in the skin you’re in. You don’t have to look this way, or lose this many pounds, or get a nose job to do so.
6. Love Yourself
This one is big. I cannot stress the importance enough. Love yo’self girl! All of those things you think are “flaws”, embrace them. Love your freckles – many people wish they had them and even draw them on! Those stretchmarks that you hate? They are a sign of growth into your adult body. A friend once called them tiger stripes and I loved that so much I have never been able to forget it. And we forget that almost everyone has them. They are normal. Your stomach has rolls when you bend over, or even when you don’t? Its cute! And you have major organs there so you need a little more padding to keep them safe. If you are truly unhappy about something you have the ability to change, then take the steps necessary to change it. Start going to the gym and eating healthier. Not only will you begin to look better, you will feel better too. But the things you can’t change, well they’re along for the ride through this crazy life so learn to embrace them. They make you, you. When you begin to accept every quirky thing about yourself, your laugh, the way you crinkle your nose, the way you are strong and resilient and never give up, it will be liberating. It’s important to start loving yourself now, even while on the journey to being a better you. Spend time in the mirror practicing complimenting yourself and telling you that you love you. It may feel silly at first but the mind is a wonderful thing and after a while you will start to believe it.
7. Think Positive
You may be unaware of how negative your thoughts can be, towards yourself, towards others, and towards situations in your life. Take a day to really focus on your thoughts and where they go. Are you quick to think negative about school or your job? If you see someone on the street, do you revert to mentally insulting them? If you do, its time to swap it up. Find the silver lining of your job. Make it a challenge to mentally or audibly compliment everyone you see. It could be their eyes, their smile, their outfit, their laugh, their hair, how well-spoken they are. The options are endless. This will not only make others feel better, but it will make you feel better as well. Seeing a smile on someone else’s face that you put there is an amazing gift. When you start seeing others as beautiful it will be easier to see yourself as beautiful.
8. Stop Comparing Yourself To Others
As I stated above, social media can be our self-esteem’s biggest downfall. We forget that it is a persons HIGHLIGHT REEL. People put the best pictures of themselves online, whether it may be photo-shopped, or before they have eaten in the morning to show how lean they are, or after a tan and a shit-ton of makeup. The no-makeup makeup look is a thing btw. And I’m not bashing any of that, do you boo-boo. But its so easy to forget those things and only see the smaller picture. When we compare our real life to someones highlight reel it is unfair to ourselves in all aspects. Comparing yourself to anyone else is an insult to yourself. You are the only you in this world, you’re a PRO at it. Why would you let that go to waste? No one can do it better than you so embrace it and be the best you that you can be. The only comparison you should make that is healthy, is the one to who you were yesterday. You won’t ever be and don’t want to be those other people! Being you is amazing!
Being comfortable in your own skin doesn’t mean you have to be complacent or never needing to improve or change. It doesn’t mean being narcissistic, superior or prideful. It means having confidence in yourself, believing in yourself, and realizing your self-worth. You don’t want to wake up one day at 90, wishing you had done all the things you chose not to do, all because you felt you looked bad. So save this post to Pinterest or your bookmarks or subscribe to my emails, and refer back whenever you need a little reminder. Because YOU are beautiful and it’s time you realized it.
What are some things you do when you want to feel more confident?
Click here if you want to check out my post on affirmations to help you feel more confident.